When something goes completely pear-shaped, more than it has with anyone before sucks a lot out of you. Wanting to be in there shoes more than anything because you want to see their thoughts, emotions and ways as you probably deserve to feel shitter than they do. I wish, I had the words to make at least 0.00001% difference, being in such situation and Lord Jesus why did you not control my actions or get inside my head before it would be this way. hey best mate, don’t think I could even bare the thought of ‘hurt’ towards you and did that absolutely turn around. Had to be you, eh? Don’t give up please. Never, ever, have I been so oblivious. Sorry. Sorry. Do you not see this happens to everyone though, even the best of people like you! Wish I could actually control myself, my feelings because for sure it wouldn’t be like this. You’re the best. Even with your pants inside out. I cannot fathom how something like this makes you appreciate something SO much. I’ve never seen someone be quite like you. I guess you’re a unique one. I like unique but I love you. Haven’t slept properly in 48 hours, should probably keep the last 3658245 words to myself. I never have, never will regret one single move with you, oh. except this horrible one by far, the one where I screwed up and you’d say, the gross three words - “lead you on”. The one where I’m any second away from losing ya’ - do I not start to feel emotions/feelings toward? Yes, I do and how? the fact that I feel the way I do I think means, whoever you feel the need to write something such as this about and still not get the right words out must mean they’re special and a keeper whether they’re an acquaintance to a soul mate. To have your mind set you’d do practically anything to prove better to them right now and not only does this situation prove you’re a bad person, there’s plenty of others. What do I do? What the fuck do I do. it doesnt really matter if its just a you are my freaking bestfriend feeling or a really i like him! because if you didn’t feel for him, you really would not give one fuck about why he is acting so weird, riiiiiiiight?